Who am I kidding, The reality is a kitchen in chaos, you cannot find your favourite cake smoother, the cake is due in one day and won’t cooperate, I could go on but I won’t. So if you want to test your strength of character start baking, it’s not all sprinkles and at times you have to literally stop youself from throwing your cake in the bin, up the wall, on the floor *Delete where applicable*
Remember Iain from The Great British bake off last year? #BakedAlaskaGate
And as for poor Dorett from the first episode of this years bake off there wasn’t a person in the land that didn’t feel for her, yes this is real drama people.
1. So you walk into your local supermarket to grab some flour, enough butter to form your own EU butter mountain, eggs that make you wonder if you should consider owning chickens, and enough sugar that would make a dentist weep
You stand at the till and begin browsing your fb timeline to see how many likes your last cake got when you hear..
“Someone is busy you baking a cake then?”
“You must be good then”
Me (being humble) I’m ok with a knowing wink
2. About to start baking you think you have everything, you weigh out all the ingredients and then you realise that your one egg short (What a croc)Note to self: I really do need chickens
3. You go into a cold sweat when your local cake decorating shop has run out of your fave sugarpaste, you use a unfamiliar one and the cake is due in the morning, you want to have confidence in your paste and you wonder will it tear? Yep there it goes.
4. You hold your breath when delivering that stacked cake convinced it’s collaspsed in the boot of your car on what seems to be the hottest day of the year.
5. Can I make a cake Pop? Sure how hard can it be 4 hours later your ball of cake won’t stay on the stick I repeat it won’t stay on the stick, and as for candy melts Why, they are just adding to my torment,
6. You set an alert for the great British bake off a year in advance and begin counting down the days, and then begin getting loads of messages from people telling you you should be on there.
7. You detest washing up and don’t have the space for a dish washer, then you need you mixing bowl for one last cake and run out of washing up liquid, Noooooooooooooo (thank god for late night shopping)
8. At cake International you try to convince yourself one more cutter won’t hurt, of course I’ll use it ,oh and I really need that sparkly ribbon, the extra set of cake tins, well you just never know
9. Your covered cake is looking gorgeous, smooth, sharp and then you rotate it, and looking back at you is an air bubble so big its like a wind machine when you pop it and the air escaping whispers “I’ll be back” terminator style.
10. You go to bed at 2am and get up at 6am to find your sugarpaste model has collapsed and the terminator air bubble has reappeared. You want to cry, sod it you cry anyway while stomping round the kitchen mumbling to yourself how much you hate HATE air bubbles and sugarpaste.
12. That tumbleweed moment when you check your email and don’t get a response from the quote you managed to spend hours working on as the cake was “Urgent”
13. You decide to try the upside down inside out back to front method to acheive that sharp edge and end up with a cake just right for the cake wreck website
14. You forgot to start the mixer on slow resulting in an icing sugar tornado
“You need the cake for when”
Cue hysterical laughter
Yes everyone may think it’s super glam but it’s hard work, challenging, stressful (there’s a reason people cry on bakeoff) but it’s not always tears and tantrums, those that do bake LOVE IT , we love creating edibles pieces of art for our customers and we wouldn’t have it any other way.
So saluting my baking community we really do make life sweet.